Weird Wyrlds

By the pricking of my thumbs, something weird this way comes

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Your Rights Revisited, by Jennifer Weigel

In celebration of the big release day of Weird Wyrlds today, Friday the 13th, I will read you your rights in accordance with the current regulations. After this special announcement post, keep an eye out for regular weirdness from me on Sundays at noon Eastern Standard Time EST. Mostly art and quirky, somewhat silly, snarky writing, and occasionally serious discourse.

You are free to sell your rights for an ice cream cone clown – the kind with a scoop of hard serve ice cream (typically vanilla) for the head and a sugar cone for the hat, and then smothered in excessive amounts of artificially colored frosting (known by the state of California to be carcinogenic in large quantities) with beady candy button eyes and accents (or better yet, sell someone else’s rights rather than your own towards said ice cream cone clown).

You are free to throw a tantrum in the street after dropping your ice cream cone clown on the hot asphalt, sitting down on the pavement and kicking and screaming like a two-year old while your ice cream cone clown melts away to nothing more than a sticky smear in the road under its then crushed sugar cone that had once been its hat.

You are free to ignore all of the warnings about throwing tantrums in the street, passing them off as lies or conspiracies preventing you from fully expressing your dissatisfaction at your personal loss of your ice cream cone clown.

You are free to get hit by the proverbial bus as it careens around the corner at seventy-three miles per hour, oblivious to your tantrum.

You are free to amass huge amounts of medical debts beyond the ability to reasonably pay when they patch you back together at the hospital and then send you on your way after you were hit.

You are free to take out a third mortgage on your house to pacify collections on the medical debts and avoid jail time thusly incurred (if you were previously renting, see Appendix G).

You are free to lose your home to foreclosure when you can’t make your payments on time.

You are free to live out of your car until that too is repossessed (if you did not own your own vehicle, see Appendix N), and then afterwards, a shopping cart with whatever you can find, panhandling on the same street where you were hit by the proverbial bus after you dropped your ice cream cone clown and before you incurred the medical debts which forced the foreclosure on your house.

You are free to be stripped of your most basic humanitarian rights, harassed, and forced to migrate from place to place.

These are your rights and freedoms in accordance with your status as a law-abiding citizen of this great nation as voted on by yourselves, the people, and your sworn representatives within it.

(Image features Reversals altered mirror image clown doll sitting on half-gallon of vanilla bean ice cream Clownin Around with text superimposed.)

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