Need to get caught up? Check out my review of the first three episodes of this season.
Oh look at that, I was right.
Okay, Killer Queens. We’ve reached episode eleven of American Horror Story 13. So far, this season has been a lot of fun. It’s been great seeing so many references to the previous seasons. The story has been exciting. I’ve been loving a return to Murder House and Coven.
Then this episode happened. This very, very silly episode.
We begin this episode with Ben at the front door of Miss Robichaux’s Academy. The witches think they’re ready for him. But it turns out that Ben’s learned some new tricks since we saw him last. He easily throws Madison down the hall. He can read minds, bend reality, and just about anything else he wants.
Like, for instance, walking down into Hell to retrieve Myrtle Snow.
Myrtle’s been down in Hell, stuck working at JCPenney. She’s quite happy to be rescued from this. And Cordelia is quite happy to see her.
Unfortunately, we spend most of this episode with Madison. Complete with an obnoxious Sex and the City-style voiceover.
Apparently, Madison’s been having trouble finding love. She’s gone on unsuccessful dates with inferior men.
I mean, relatable. But dull.
Madison decides to freeze her eggs to have children later. But it turns out she waited too long, and doesn’t have enough viable eggs left to make freezing them viable.
Then, she meets the son of the Devil and falls in love. How sweet, and very annoying.
There was one scene in this episode that I really loved. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that it was Myrtle in JCPenney.
Myrtle is just full-on roasting these women who come to her for advice. One woman says she looks like a drag queen. She responds, “That’s the point!”
Honestly, I think she’s kind of having fun. I have to say, I’ve worked in customer service for most of my adult life. And the thought of getting to tell customers what I’m actually thinking without any repercussions is kind of amazing. Please, put me in my old shoe store and let me drop my filter.
This scene was amazing. It was so fun. And I loved how sweet and gentle Ben is when he comes to fetch Myrtle. Just perfect, no notes.
The rest of the episode just pales in comparison. I just do not give a shit about Madison’s love life. I was bored with the whole thing. Oh, I guess it was kind of sweet that he took her to Italy. But they’re in the middle of New Orleans! Some of the best food in America can be found there!
Honestly, this whole episode just felt like a waste of time. I was bored. I was incredibly irritated by the voiceover. There were just so many things I wanted to know about that had nothing to do with Madison and Ben finding love.
I do sort of want those red cigarettes they had post fun sexy time. Those looked posh.
All in all, though, here’s the best thing I can say about this episode. It was short. I’ll see you back here tomorrow to talk about episode twelve. Spoiler: it wasn’t that much better.
My book, Station 86 Volume One, is available now on Amazon! It’s got two dark sci-fi stories about murder and mayhem on the station of First Contact.
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