Last night, American Horror Story returned with its thirteenth season. We’ve been waiting for this, Killer Queens. And it’s finally here. But was it worth the wait?
So far, yes. The first three episodes seem to be setting up for a fantastic and dark ride. Let’s discuss it.
As a quick note, the first three episodes do assume that you’ve seen the first twelve seasons. This review does, too. I don’t know if the spinoff series American Horror Stories is involved. But I suspect it might be. You’ll see why.
In our first three episodes, we’re introduced to Ben. He’s a hospice nurse who suffers from Triskaidekaphobia, the fear of the number thirteen. A bit on the nose, but alright.
This fear is reinforced when he, um, wait. Let me double-check this.
When he is on a plane on the thirteenth of the month, on flight thirteen leaving from Gate 13, as his girlfriend and thirteen of her closest friends are flying to her destination birthday party, and the plane crashes, leaving only Ben and one other person alive.
Oh, and they’re all wearing shirts that say thirteen on them.
Really?
Okay, let’s put that aside.
After the tragic and not at all funny death of his girlfriend, Ben starts working for a new client named Mr. Nas. Mr. Nas is quite well off and owns an entire floor in a luxury apartment building in New York called the Apollyn. The thirteenth floor, specifically.
Mr. Nas is in quite bad shape. He basically looks like a vampire, or someone who’s been using tanning beds since the 17th century. Oh, and he has an uncomfortable habit of vomiting blood.
Health note! At one point in this episode, a character refers to Mr. Nas’s vomiting as looking like coffee grounds. If you ever throw up and it looks like coffee grounds, get to the ER immediately! It could be upper gastrointestinal bleeding, and you could unalive real quick. Stay spooky, stay alive, Killer Queens.
Alright, back to the story. Ben is Mr. Nas’s night caretaker. His day caretaker is Constance Langdon.
Yes, that Constance Langdon.
She seems overly attached, almost worshipful of Mr. Nas. As does his phlebotomist, Mr. Phibes. But she also seems to think she runs this apartment. Even having her children visit.
Yes, her children. And they’re planning something. Something that involves the Black Dahlia, and probably the antichrist. Something that Cordelia Goode could feel all the way in New Orleans.
The good
Let’s start where the episode did. I loved the new intro. Now, it was nothing special. It was reminiscent of the intro for Apocalypse. And I did enjoy seeing the titles of the previous seasons. It was good.
Honestly, I probably wouldn’t have liked it as much if last season hadn’t had such a disappointing intro. This new intro washed that bad taste out of my mouth, finally.
After watching the first three episodes, I have so many good questions in the best way. Why are we taking vials of blood from Mr. Nas? What is Constance planning with her family and Kai? Why is Mr. Nas aging? And why does Constance keep dosing Ben with something?
These are the sorts of questions that will keep us coming back. The sorts of questions we’ve just got to have the answers to.
Another thing I really loved about these episodes was the reintroduction of Elizabeth Short, the Black Dahlia. Though they never actually used her title. They use her name. And she’s even wearing a white Dahlia in her hair.
I feel so bad for this young woman historically. And part of the reason why is that we’ve removed her humanity. We’ve stripped her of everything she was and just remember her dark and twisted end. We even took her name.
I’m very concerned that something terrible is going to happen to this woman who deserves to rest in peace. I am 100% invested.
Of course, we’ve got to talk about our new main character, Ben. I kind of love him. He’s scared of a number, and that’s kind of odd. But he faced his fears for his girlfriend, and that’s wonderful. He’s also committed to his job. And his job is a very important one.
On a personal note, my mother-in-law was a hospice nurse before her retirement. I have nothing but respect for people who care for those in the last months of their lives. He’s clearly freaking terrified of Mr. Nas. But he’s also committed to caring for him.
Speaking of care, I love how much Constance cares for her children in this. Especially since the first time we saw Constance with Adelaide, she was calling her ‘The Mongoloid’. Seeing her so happy to have her back, to watch over her with such care and love, it’s healing something in me.
The bad
Of course, it can’t all be Sanko and German cookies. To start with, they’re pushing real hard on the number thirteen. Like, to the point that it’s just kind of funny.
Though they did lampshade this, with Winter pointing it out. But still.
Here’s something you might not know. There’s a fairly well-known deity known as Hekate. She’s a Greek titan, a goddess of witches, and often known for guiding Persephone out of the underworld. The number thirteen is associated with Her. And so is death, because She’s a sort of deity called a psychopomp. They guide people to the afterlife. Hekate is the sort of goddess who would have nothing but love for a man who cares for the dying.
On a personal note, I am a practicing witch, and Hekate is one of the deities I work with. So, you know, I’m sort of hoping She shows up at some point and protects Ben.
Speaking of witchcraft, I also read tarot. And I’m a big fan of the Rider-Waite-Smith deck. So please allow me to share with you some wisdom from my favorite book about the 13th card in the tarot, the death card, Kitchen Table Tarot by Melissa Cynova. This is a direct quote.
Death means change, death means change, death means change.
The death card does not mean death. It would be better to think of this card as a phoenix. A part of your life has to die so that you can move on and grow. And this is not always painful. It might mean leaving a shitty job or a shitty relationship. It’s the ending of something, but not necessarily a bad ending.
(It’s a transition, something else that is associated with Hekate. Just saying.)
Now, I don’t know if the writers of this episode knew this. Clearly Twisty didn’t. If he wanted to leave a tarot card behind, I would suggest Justice, since in his mind he’s giving these clowns what they deserve.
All in all, this is a good start to season Thirteen. I’m excited to see where it goes. We’ll find out together next week.
And if you’re looking for more TV recommendations, check out my review of Fallout, season two.
American Horror Story can be found on FX and Hulu.
My dark science fiction book, Station 86 Volume One is coming out on October second! It contains two stories of murder and political intrigue on the space station of First Contact.
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